After All
by Sterlin
Summary: Pippin tries to move on after his return to the Shire, attempting to return to his old life yet start a new one with Diamond


After All…  
  
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"You! You're up to something!" a familiar voice exclaimed loudly, somewhere above Pippins crouching form. Emitting a cry of surprise, Pippin tumbled backwards onto his bum. Looking up, he saw Merry's face grinning down at him. Chuckling to himself, Pippin shook his head and leaned back.  
  
"And what if I am? I'm not running around scaring my friends like you are, am I?" Pippin countered. Merry just grinned and offered Pippin his hand. Taking it, Pippin pulled himself up.  
  
"I will find out what you're doing," Merry promised, but Pippin just winked at him. "Oh, bother. You keep your secrets!" Merry said with a grin.  
  
"I will!" Pippin said. Merry started down the road, and as he turned his back Pippin bent down and stuffed the flowers he had been picking into his pocket. Hurrying after his friend, he shoved the flowers down as far as they would go without being damaged.  
  
"So what were you doing in that hedge anyway?" Merry asked curiously.  
  
"Oh nothing. Just…you know…looking for mushrooms," Pippin stammered. Merry chuckled and nudged his friend.  
  
"You know, you were never a good liar," he said, and Pippin blushed slightly.  
  
"Neither were you – but that still doesn't mean you get to know what I was doing," Pippin said. Looking over at his friend, he noticed for the first time that Merry was without any piece of weaponry or armor. "Merry, where's your sword?" he asked, and Merry glanced down to where his sword would usually hang.  
  
"Well…with the party coming up and all…I didn't think it was appropriate," he said. Pippin rested his hand lightly on the hilt of his sword with a smile, his fingers gripping it tightly.  
  
"I suppose you're right," he said. "After all, we don't need to fear anything while we're here…not anymore," he said contentedly, but Merry thought that he heard a note of uncertainty in his friends voice.  
  
"You are coming to the party, right?" Merry asked, and Pippin nodded again.  
  
"Of course! Wouldn't miss it for the world. Actually, I need to go get changed for it…put on something more comfortable," he grinned, his hand going into his pocket. Merry looked at him curiously, his eyes following Pippins hand.  
  
"You are certainly a riddle Pippin, and a very confusing one at that. But, like all hobbits, I love riddles…I will figure you out," Merry grinned. Pippin just laughed to himself.  
  
"Well then you'd better hurry my dear Meriadoc, for after tonight this "secret" will be revealed so to speak," Pippin grinned mysteriously, stopping by a fork in the road.  
  
"Then I will have to think hard to figure it out!" Merry said, watching as his friend turned down the path. "I will see you later tonight on the party field!" he called out.  
  
"See you then!" Pippin called back, turning and trotting back towards home. As Merry turned back to go get ready for the party, a single blue flower caught his attention. Bending down to pick it up, he looked at it curiously. Glancing from the flower to his friends retreating form and back again, a small smile crept over his face. "Pippin, you're a sly one," he chuckled as he turned and walked away.  
  
Pippin placed his beloved sword down beside his bed, and picked up his scarf. Running his fingers over the smooth material, he looked lovingly at the scarf that he had carried with him through the times. His other hand drifted to his sword, the cold blade sharp underneath his fingers. "Tonight is a night of changes. I must say hello to one old friend, and goodbye to another," he mused to himself. For a moment his hand drifted towards the hilt of the sword, towards the best form of protection and security he had, and the scarf began to fall towards the bed.  
  
"Pippin!" a high voice called, and Pippin dropped both the scarf and the sword on the bed. He whirled around and ran to the door. Stepping outside, he shut it quickly behind him.  
  
"Diamond! What a surprise," he said warmly, opening his arms for her. Diamond grinned and ran into his open arms, hugging him tightly. "What are you doing here?" he asked her as they parted.  
  
"I was just on my way to the party, and I wanted to see if you wanted to go together," she asked him. Pippin grinned but shook his head.  
  
"I have some things to take care of first," he said, brushing her cheek with his fingers. "I'll be there shortly, but I wouldn't want to hold you up waiting for me," he said. Diamond looked slightly disappointed but nodded.  
  
"Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't mind the wait," she said, and Pippin laughed.  
  
"I know you don't. I just don't want you to miss anything. I'll see you there, okay?" he said, and she nodded. Leaning forward, he kissed her warmly on the lips. Diamond kissed him back and smiled at him.  
  
"Don't be too late," she said as she walked backwards onto the path. Pippin grinned cheekily and shoved his hands into his pockets.  
  
"I'll only be as fashionably late as proper for a Took to be," he grinned. He waved once more before ducking inside and sighing. He glanced down and noticed that his hands were shaking. Laughing out loud, he shook his head and stepped towards his bedroom.  
  
Before him, lying prone on the bed was his beloved scarf and blade. The setting sun shone in through his window, sending an ominous red glow reflecting onto Pippin's face and body. He looked down at his hands, where the crimson light shimmering and flickering off of the blade turned them scarlet. In the evening glow, his sword appeared to be drenched with blood. Shuddering, he diverted his eyes to his scarf. It's warm earth colors reached out to him, out of the glare of the evening sun, and he picked it up quickly. Tying it around his neck, his fingers ran over the soft yarn again. His eyes glanced quickly at his sword, before he turned his back on it and walked out of the room.  
  
Putting his old green jacket on, he shifted comfortably in its warmth. The familiar feelings of the Shire came back slowly to him, and he grinned to himself. For the first time in awhile, he felt like he was truly home. Grabbing a bouquet of flowers as he passed them, Pippin took one final glance in the looking glass before he hurried out his door and down the path to the party.  
  
"Hey look! It's Pippin!" Merry shouted, and a chorus of "Pippin" rose up from the party. Pippin grinned and walked into the crowd, the bouquet of flowers tucked safely inside of his jacket. Pippin saw Merry grinning at him, and he walked over.  
  
"What's so funny?" he asked, and Merry held up the blue flower. Pippin's face went blank for a moment, and then a grin broke out slowly on his face. "You don't miss a think, do you Merry?" he asked, snatching the flower from his friends hand with a chuckle. Replacing it into the bouquet, he looked up and started. Sam and Frodo had joined Merry, and were now all leaning startlingly close to him with expectant looks on their faces. "What?" he asked, spreading his hands out before him. Frodo raised an eyebrow, Merry tilted his head, and Sam crossed his arms. "What?!" he asked with a chuckle, backing away and putting his hands up in front of him.  
  
"Now I know you're not a gardener, and I know you don't just run around picking flowers for the fun of it," Sam said with a chuckle. Pippin just grinned back mysteriously.  
  
"I simply have no idea what you're talking about!" he exclaimed.  
  
"See? I told you it would be useless," Frodo grinned, nudging Sam. "It's just like him…normally can't keep his mouth shut. Of course the one time we want him to speak, he goes and clams up!" Frodo said. Turning to Sam, Frodo began to talk about how typical it was or Pippin to be like this. Pippin grinned, but his attention was suddenly caught by the flash of white he saw out of the corner of his eye. Merry followed his glance, and his smile became wider. Pippin looked over at his friend, his gaze changing from playful to nervous. Merry nodded silently and smiled, telling Pippin that he understood what was going on.  
  
"I know what it is," Merry said loudly, causing Sam and Frodo to turn away from Pippin momentarily. "But…I can't tell you," Merry teased nudging Pippin. "Go," he hissed under his breath. Pippin nodded and quickly slid away from his three friends as Merry distracted Frodo and Sam.  
  
"Diamond?" Pippin called out, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Diamond turned around, her white dress sparkling in the moonlight.  
  
"Pippin!" she exclaimed, running up to him and kissing him. He smiled at her, running his fingers through her soft black hair. She grinned at him but tilted her head. "Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," Pippin answered quickly, scratching his own head. "Listen, do you want to go take a walk? I have something…" Pippin started, cutting off abruptly as Diamond was swept up in the arms of a fellow hobbit. Pippin sighed to himself as Diamond danced with her friend and looked after her longingly. She caught his gaze and smiled at him, but continued dancing. He opened his mouth to try and call over to her, but before he could speak she was being twirled away again.  
  
Sighing, Pippin turned away and walked over to get an ale. Sipping the ale slowly, he turned to find Merry. As he passed by a tent, the sight of the bonfire filled his view. Pippin stopped in his tracks, his eyes intent on the dancing flames. Every muscle in his body froze in movement as an unexplained terror coursed through his body. His fingers twitched slightly, yearning for the cold steel of a sword to be in their grasp; the ale mug fell to the ground with a clatter.  
  
Across the field Merry's head shot up from where he was eating, instinctually sensing Pippin's fear. His gaze caught Pippin standing rigid, his eyes upon the flames. Jumping up from his seat, he started to push his way through the crowd. "Pip!" he called loudly, his call never reaching Pippin ears.  
  
Hearing Merry's shout, Frodo and Sam looked up. Pippin stood at the far end of the crowd, his eyes wide and his body frozen in motion. Sam followed Pippin's line of sight and started. "Oh no," he said, grabbing Frodo's arm and trying to get through the crowd.  
  
Pippin stood deadly still, his eyes locked upon the flames billowing into the night sky. It's embers danced among the treetops, like fireflies on an autumn night. To him, this was the most frightful image he could imagine. Cold screams echoed in his ears, the sound of hoofbeats galloping over stone, the wails of despair of those who were losing a loved one…the face of Faramir lying almost dead, and the face of Denethor gone mad flashed before his eyes. He was lost in a world of terror, fear, blood and war. The overpowering roar of fire and pounding in his head drowned the sound of the party music out, and the springy grass underneath his feet felt like it was stabbing through his soles.  
  
Merry was the first to reach Pippin through the crowd. Grabbing him by the elbow, he shook him gently. Pippin started fiercely and cried out, tumbling backwards and out of Merry's grasp. A few hobbits turned around and stared at them oddly. Hearing Pippin's cry, Diamond stopped dancing. Moving as if she was underwater, she turned slowly around; her eyes were filled with fear and worry. The bonfire cast an ominous glow over Peregrin, his eyes shining with wild terror. Recovering from her start, Diamond began to make her way across the field.  
  
Merry bent over Pippin's prone form as Sam and Frodo rushed to his side. "Pippin! Pip! Are you okay?" Merry asked anxiously, grabbing Pippin's shaking hands. Pippin gulped down the night air, the reflection of the fire shining in his fright-filled eyes. Merry placed a cooling hand on Pippin's sweat covered brow, and Pippin recoiled under his touch. Merry winced and drew back slightly, his feelings hurt, until he looked into Pippin's eyes again. It was then that Merry saw the glistening tears there, tears that he hadn't seen since…  
  
"I can't do this. I can't be here," Pippin stammered, wrenching Merry's thoughts back to the present. Climbing clumsily to his feet, Pippin wrenched his arm out of Merry's calming but strong grasp. Before anyone could say anything, he has taken off across the field. Diamond arrived running as Pippin disappeared behind some bushes. Glancing at Merry, she paused momentarily.  
  
"Is he okay?" she asked him. Merry paused then shook his head. Diamond's eyes filled with worry, and she hurried off after Pippin.  
  
"Pippin!" Diamond called out anxiously, looking behind the bushes and trees. "Oh Pippin, where are you?" she called out, standing in the field. A rustle in the bush next to her alerted her to his presence, and she hurried over. "Pippin?" she asked, kneeling down by the dark shaking form.  
  
"I'm sorry," was all that he said.  
  
"Oh Pip…" Diamond whispered, enveloping him in her arms. "My darling," she said, stroking his hair as he sobbed into her shoulder. Pippin clutched her dress tightly, tears streaming down his face.  
  
"I thought I had put it all behind me…I thought I was ready to move on," he choked out, the tears seeming to collect in his throat. Diamond held him tighter, the tears welling up in her own eyes as she held her love as he cried. Glad that they were hidden from view behind the hedge, she wiped his face off with her dress.  
  
"I don't think that you will ever forget what happened," she said sadly, looking at him. Pippin stared at the ground, sobs still racking his body.  
  
"I just…I want you to be happy with me Diamond. How can I be a good husband to you if I'm always afraid of what will turn the corner, of what will come when night falls?" he asked, burying his head in her shoulder again. Diamond sighed and stroked his hair, kissing his head gently.  
  
"I will always love you; I could never hold these fears against you," she said. Her hand paused, Pippin's curls caught up between her knuckles. Slowly Diamond pulled away from him, and looked him in the eye. "Husband?" she asked in a funny voice, staring at him oddly. Pippin raised his eyebrows, then swore under his breath. Diamond tilted her head with a frown. "Husband?" she repeated again, wiping the stray tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. Pippin sighed and shook himself off, although tears still fell from his eyes. Wiping his face and nose on his sleeve, he smiled feebly at Diamond. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out the slightly crushed bouquet of flower and handed them to her. Diamond's eyes widened as she accepted them, his hands clasping over hers as she did so. "Husband?" she squeaked out again, and Pippin gave a little laugh.  
  
"Yes Diamond…husband," he said in a shaky voice. "Diamond, I know that we've been friends for a long time. You were my first kiss, and you were my first love," he started. "A lot has changed from when we first became friends, but through the years, you were always the one who held my heart. I…I'm asking you tonight, to take my heart, and my hand, and to be my wife," he said. Diamond sat and stared at him, and Pippin furrowed his brows. "Diamond?" he asked her. Her mouth gaped open for a moment, then shut again. Pippin leaned closer to her, and placed a gentle hand on her cheek. She reached up and placed her hand over his, curling her fingers around his. Taking his tear stained hand, she pressed her lips against it then pressed it against her cheek again.  
  
"I thought you'd never ask," she said with a small smile. Pippin sighed with relief, a content smile filling his tear stained face.  
  
"Yes?" he asked, leaning closer to her.  
  
"Yes," she replied. Flinging his arms around her, Pippin kissed her deeply. Pulling away, he burst out laughing. She joined him, and they sat laughing and kissing in the dark.  
  
Merry stood up from the other side of the bush, and strode quietly over to where Sam and Frodo were standing anxiously by the edge of the party. He had an odd look upon his face, as though he had just seen his best friend take one step out on his own, away from the friendship and love that they had developed together.  
  
"Well?" Sam asked anxiously as Frodo listened in silence. Merry's eyes were sad but happy at the same time, and he smiled warmly at the two hobbits. After a long pause, he sighed deeply and looked behind him. The sound of Pippin's laughter mingling with Diamond's floated to them over the evening wind, and Merry shoved his hands into his pockets with a small smile.  
  
"I think he's going to be okay after all."  
  
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End file.
